At 38 weeks, I had an ultrasound to determine the approximate size of the baby because I was already measuring 41 weeks. The ultrasound determined that the baby might be as large at 9lbs 15 oz! I thought the technician was telling me the time, not the weight of the baby! I was slightly freaked out at this news and concerned that I would not have a successful VBAC if the baby was in fact this big. Dr. Nelson indicated that with a baby this big, they would not do too much to help get him/her out during labor if problems arose, however I still wanted to do a trial of labor. It was very important to me to at least try. A c-section was scheduled for July 28, 9 days past my due date of July 19 in case I did not go into labor on my own.

Saturday July 16, I woke up about 7am when Daniel came into our room. I stayed in bed for a few minutes before sitting up to get out of bed. When I sat up, I felt a gush of water and realized that my water broke right there! I called to Dan and my mom and told them to come back upstairs. Poor Daniel was concerned that “Mommy pee in the bed” as he was right there when it happened.  I got up to use the bathroom and more water gushed out, so I got dressed and Dan suggested that we call the hospital and Lisa (the doula) to at least find out when we should come in. The nurse suggested that we come in as soon as possible to determine if it was in fact my water that broke.

Since I had just pulled out my overnight bag the day before, not much was packed and I could not remember what I needed, so I just threw a few things in the bag, including my hypnobirthing book and tapes. We left for the hospital at 8:30 am with Daniel and Grandma waving at us from the front porch. Arriving at St. Francis, we were met by Sarah, the nurse who gave us a tour of the birth center just a week before. She also did the checking to confirm that my water had broken  (a procedure that required me to lie in bed for 30 minutes before she checked) and still at 3cm. Ginny, the nurse, returned to us with the news that we were “keepers” – we were staying until the baby was born. She put in the saline-lock/IV and asked us to wait for Dr. Torkelson to arrive (she was the OB on call this weekend – not Dr. Nelson). While we waited, our nurse Jen arrived to care for me until 3pm. I reviewed my birth plan and hypnobirthing information with her with great results, as she was able to talk to Dr. Torkelson and ensure that the plan was followed. Dr. Torkelson came to see us at noon on Saturday, and I was just having mild contractions with no real pattern to them. She spent time with us, discussing the birth plan and orders she would give the nursing staff for my care. It was great to hear that I did not have to stay hooked up to monitors until I was in active labor, there would be no pitocin until my body was given time to start labor on its own, and I would having a nonmedicated delivery. With that, we were left alone to walk the halls and rest. I spent some time listening to the “Come out Baby!” tape, hoping to inspire some action. Jen brought in a birthing ball and I tried that out for a while too. It was also great to put the ball in the tub and sit on it with the showerhead spraying over my belly. I kept in touch with Lisa, our doula, throughout the day to report on my progress, but did not need her to come to the hospital just yet.

Contractions were coming, but not very strongly or consistently, so Dan decided to head home to collect a few more things, like my tape player and body pillow. I was allowed to eat, so had some lunch and a bit of a nap in the afternoon. By early evening, we realized that the baby was going to take his/her sweet time so we prepared to wait it out. At 10 pm Saturday night, Dr. Torkelson returned to check on us and suggested that we get some rest and if things were not progressing by morning then we would talk about pitocin. Resting that night was difficult – Dan snoring and more frequent contractions – which became more uncomfortable by about 5am so I turned on my Birth Guide tape and got back into the tub with the birth ball. I also asked Dan to call Lisa and ask her to come to the hospital. She arrived before I was even out of the tub! Unfortunately, the contractions slowed down at this point, so Lisa and I walked the halls and used the birthing ball even more. Again, I was not in active labor so there was no need for the monitors, however the nurses did hook me up for about 10 minutes each hour or so. By 10:30 am Dr. Torkelson came by to check on me and I was at 4 cm. She also noticed that the fore bag of waters was still intact and that I had only experienced a tear in the membranes the day before, so she did an AROM to get things going. Then she gave my body time to react to the complete rupture of membranes to see if contractions would increase naturally. I climbed into bed for a while and listened to my tapes. Contractions, or surges as they are called in hypnobirthing terms, became more regular and I described them as pressure like the blood pressure cuff on my arm, tightening to a point then relaxing again. I could breathe through them and actually fell asleep between contractions. I moved to the rocking chair as Dan and Lisa watched the monitor as I labored and seemed surprised that I was so calm. More walking in the halls also helped with increasing the frequency of the contractions. Both Dan and Lisa took turned getting out for some lunch and I was also able to eat something too. 

By noon on Sunday I was still at 4cm, so it was decided to augment this labor with pitocin. I felt okay about this decision because of all the time already given to me to let nature get things going and the confidence I had in the doctor. I was a bit nervous about how intense the contractions would get with the drugs and started to lose my focus on the hypnobirthing tapes. The only good position for me at this point was standing, leaning over the bed and rocking back and forth. Dan was standing behind me, rubbing my back and rocking with me. What an amazing man I have! He stuck with me all the way. The contractions certainly picked up at this point and by 3pm Sandra was back as our nurse and when she checked me and I was only 5cm, I was pretty upset by the lack of progress. I shed a few tears, but realized that I needed to continue and tried to get back into a more relaxed place again. I thought that being hooked up to the monitor all the time now that I was in active labor would prevent me from getting into the tub again, but Sandra explained that all the monitoring equipment was water resistant and she helped us to wheel everything into that tiny bathroom so I could be on the birth ball in the tub as much as I wanted. It was so great to have this kind of support.
At this point, there was a bit of a time warp for me. I remember getting into the tub again with the birth ball and monitors right in the bathroom. I know that we also spent time in that tiny bathroom with me grasping the safety handles on the wall, swaying back and forth with Dan behind me rubbing my back and Lisa putting cold cloths on my forehead. I don’t know how long we stayed like that, but Lisa tells me it was over an hour. Standing seemed to be the best position for me, and Sandra our amazing nurse was able to check my progress in that position so I did not have to lie down, which was way to painful!

By about 5 pm I was only dilated to 7 cm and ready to give up. I know that I asked for a c-section at some point and was denied! Thank god! I also suggested that we try the Nubane, but Lisa was great about talking me out of it – would make me too groggy. By 6:30 pm I was at 8 cm and had an overwhelming urge to start pushing, which they did not want me to do. I will forever remember that urge that took over my body. It was the hardest thing to not push at this time. They had me back in bed lying on my side as I still had some cervix left and Sandra was trying to push it out of the way with each contraction. I know that I was very vocal at this point with every contraction. Moaning and groaning and all that, but I did not care. I never did make it to 10 cm, but had a lip of cervix left which the nurse moved as I pushed. Actually getting to push was the most amazing experience -- my body just took over and I tried to follow it. No one counted to 10 as I pushed or yelled at me to keep going, it was all me!  Pushing was hard work, but it sure felt better to do that instead of riding out the pain of a contraction. With every surge I was able to bear down and work at getting the baby out! I do not know how long I pushed, but at one point Sandra reported a hairy head coming down. I remember being very excited because I never got this far with Daniel’s birth. Sandra also noticed that something else was with this hairy head and thought it might be a scrotum! We all said that was impossible because the ultrasound had showed the baby was head down. After some confusion, Dr. Torkelson came in and confirmed that it was not a scrotum, but “capit” which are folds in the baby’s head as it immerges. 

By this time, they could see the baby's head and I was more motivated to get him out (I reached down at one point and was able to feel the top of the head). I was so tired and asked Dr. Torkelson to help me by using the vacuum. She agreed and told me that even with the help, I still needed to push. I would get the “goal” and she would get the “assist”. So with every contraction, Dan on one side and Lisa on the other, my legs up in the air –I pushed with all I had and   I watched in the mirror as the head came out (the burning sensation was unbelievable!)  They put him on my tummy and I was able to "feel" between his legs and tell everyone that he was a boy!!!! What an amazing feeling -- and the pain stopped immediately! They took him after a few minutes to a warmer directly beside my bed and I watched as they got him breathing regularly then they gave him back to me and we began nursing right away. It was perfect and the most amazing moment for me. Dan was right there at my side when Ryan James, 9lbs 6 oz, came into the world and our family grew to four! 

Daniel came to visit his little brother the very next day and immediately came over to the bed where I was holding him to give him hugs and kisses. “He so tiny” Daniel kept saying. Such a great big brother, and Daniel sure looked huge to me!